The main reasons why everyone needs a money coach
Today I will discuss why you need a money coach. To start with, what is a money coach? If you have a mental picture of dollars doing sit ups at the gym, or someone cheerleading when you make wise financial decisions, you’re not wrong. Ok, maybe your dollars won’t be working out, but it’s not a bad analogy.
In all seriousness, let’s start with what a money coach is not.
A money coach is not only for people who have large estates.
You have probably heard the terms financial planner, estate planner, and retirement advisor. People often associate these services with setting up trusts and handling large investment accounts. While there are planners and advisors who work with people to develop wealth, many do prefer to cater to clients who already have substantial assets.
A money coach is not looking to sell you investment products.
People may be deterred when they feel like a planner is trying to steer them towards investment products that are profitable for the advisor. And sometimes they do.
A good money coach takes a different approach.
While someone who focuses only on financial planning or retirement advising might give you savings goals by age and projected retirement or suggest investments, a money coach is someone you turn to for encouragement and tough love when it comes to executing your goals.
A money coach will help you establish professional goals, work with you through life changes, and search to understand why things have or haven’t been working.
I am also a financial planner, meaning I have a background in personal finance and can help individuals and families assess their strategies for budgeting and saving to reach financial goals. As a money coach, I do help with these things, but I acknowledge that money is just one piece of the pie.
I believe that the way you interact with money goes deeper. The way our parents felt about money and what we believe about money shapes our perception of how money works and our part in the process. The money story we develop guides the way we view, receive, and spend our money.
Money is oftentimes a self-fulfilling prophecy
What we believe to be true about money becomes self-fulfilling. We give money power when we feel shame. The way we interact with money is guided by our habits and our sense of self-worth. And these deep held beliefs can be brought to light, assessed, and intentionally changed to better serve us.
Said another way, in his article on the psychology of investing, Morgan Housel says one reason finance is so hard to teach is because the outcome depends on behavior, not just learning the numbers. He points out that everyone’s money story is tied up in what was happening in history in the generation we grew up, the way our parents viewed money, the things we were offered or denied as children, and the stories we take in that are publicized about money (usually negative if they get big coverage), among other things. To keep our sanity, we all form a world-view of money, and we assume that the way we experience it is the correct version.
If your story serves you well, this is fine. But for many of us, things in our past have inflated fear, shame, and other feelings about money that keep us operating within certain boundaries.
As a money coach, I can provide you with practical advice on how to manage your money. But more importantly, I want to help you explore the reasons behind your current situation and empower you to change your habits when they sabotage your goals.
A Personal Money Plan
Part of my process for getting to know my clients involves diving deep into what limiting beliefs you have that are affecting the way you interact with money.
Sometimes that means you have money but you don’t know where it goes each month. You bring in a good paycheck, but it seems to slip through your fingers.
A money coach can be a second pair of eyes with a fresh perspective on your spending, where you are leaking money, and someone to hold you accountable.
A coach can look at household spending with you, judgement free, and help assess where you might be overpaying or able to step back.
Many times, you know where the money is going, but you can’t see a way out of the cycle.
Are you embarrassed to discuss your finances?
Often clients are embarrassed to talk about what’s going on with their money or feel like discussing money is dirty. I always want to know why.
You may remember tension between your parents growing up because of money, and you don’t want to rock the boat in your own relationship.
As an adult, you may be embarrassed to ask financial questions because you feel like you were already supposed to have this knowledge, even though personal finance is a subject largely ignored by our schools.
There are many reasons why we continue in patterns we know are not optimal.
Shame affects you mentally and physically. If you feel shame about your spending, that shame will start to give you an ulcer. Maybe you need a drink to help you cope with the stress when your bills come. Maybe you tend to spend more money when you feel stressed, exacerbating the problem. In each of these scenarios, a cycle is forming, and those habits can be hard to break if you don’t remember how they started or why you have a guttural reaction when you see a notice pop up for a payment due. Avoiding these feelings doesn’t help them go away.
Money shame resulting in my brother taking his own life
My own brother ended his life after years of feeling the weight of not being able to dig out from his lifestyle spending. He felt defeated by mounting debt and reached a point where it seemed like the only option left.
After his death, I had to come to terms with not only the guilt I felt over not being able to help him, but also my own spending and addiction problems.
Did you know that one in three adults struggle at some point with mental health, whether that takes the form of substance abuse, depression, bipolar or some version of attention deficit disorder. Often these problems go hand in hand. Having just one of these conditions can make your spending erratic, cause you to ignore your finances for awhile, or at least make your decisions inconsistent when it comes to planning for the future.
Although as a society we have made great strides in better understanding mental health issues and normalizing asking for help, it can still be hard to feel labeled by it. While mental disease is not your fault, you do have to address it before you can expect different results in your spending. Without a change, you may go through periods of clarity where you get your finances back on track, but it’s a precarious position. By acknowledging the problem, you can both change the trajectory of your health and come up with controls to protect your finances where you know you have vulnerability.
Relationships and Money
Aside from your relationship to spending, another reason for figuring this stuff out is the impact that managing our money has on our closest relationships.
Even if you are a single person household, you may find yourself spending because you want to prove your success or worth. You always pick up the bill when you go out with friends. Your brother’s family knows they can count on you to buy gifts for your nieces when they struggle to make ends meet. Your friend knows you’ll bail her out/loan her money/help with rent. People close to you rely on you and it becomes tied up in your identity. It’s hard to find a way out without feeling like you are letting them down.
Or maybe you are half of a couple with a combined bank account. When household money is shared and everyone brings their own money stories to the table, it can make for some real tension.
Why savers are attracted to spenders
It’s no secret that opposites attract. Savers are attracted to spenders because they know how to enjoy money. Spenders are attracted to savers because they seem grounded and stable. They balance each other out. But the things that they first admire about the other can become a source of tension. All the more when it comes to day-to-day decisions about what to do with money.
While it’s easy to turn a blind eye to our own spending quirks, it’s even easier to project the reason our spouse or partner is sabotaging money. And it’s not usually a kind projection.
You can make excuses for the way you spend. This is especially true knowing your history and being able to attach emotions to your purchases. But when someone else goes against what makes sense, we often assume that person is being reckless or trying to hurt us. We often overlook the simple fact that they have their own history and demons that guide their behaviors.
Whether you fight about money with your spouse, or you hide things because you know it will start an argument, money becomes a control tool in your home. Maybe you are not on the same page about your spending goals or your standard of living or whatever. Bringing in a money coach is a good way to assess where you are and why you spend the way you do as a couple.
Tammy is a fantastic coach. She’s done the work herself and knows how to help others reach and heal their deepest selves in ways that ripple far beyond financial security. With her help, my wife and I completely transformed our approach to finances. Our incomes are growing and our work lives are becoming more fulfilling. We treat each other better… Don’t wait. Go see her today! Dan C. -Winter Park FL
Do you really need a money coach? Are they worth the cost?
Sometimes people avoid seeking out a money coach because of the cost. When you are struggling with paying your bills, it may seem counterintuitive to pay someone to help you sort it out.
Like your health, the cost of preventative care is often a better deal than ignoring something until your body deteriorates. Because coaching addresses your money shame and the stories that perpetuate your bad outcomes, you get to write a new story. Working with a money coach is an investment in your future.
Working towards true peace of mind about your money
The peace of mind that comes from handling your financial life with a money coach’s guidance will impact your health in positive ways. Your stress will diminish. Your relationships will be less fraught.
Know what’s really expensive?
Divorce is expensive.
Not having enough to retire is a huge burden on yourself and your loved ones.
Saving for retirement is an important part of adulthood. Retirement is not optional. Your goals should include being able to support yourself when you reach an age where you are no longer working, whether by choice or not.
You may think you cannot afford to save because other people are counting on you, or you need to fund your children’s education. Consider how those same people will feel when they find in 30 years, they are now responsible for your well-being because you are out of options?
Borrowing cannot fund your lifestyle
At some point, borrowing cannot fund your lifestyle. While your children can borrow for school, you cannot borrow for retirement.
Having money set aside gives you those options. The beauty of compound interest means that, given time, your money will grow to serve you later in life when you may no longer be able to work.
The longer you ignore your debt and lack of savings, the deeper you dig the hole. Plus, the less time you have to improve your situation.
I don’t say this to scare you. Judgement is not my game. But helping you prepare for your future and adjust your trajectory is.
Tammy is an amazing money coach. When I first started seeing Tammy I was overextended by about $1000 a month. I was literally living off of my credit cards. She showed me how to actually budget, and not live on credit. Tammy does not focus on the money itself. She focuses on the reasons behind why we have problems with money. She digs really deep in a loving and compassionate way. The thing I love most about Tammy is she guides you through your issues with money without judgement. Today I have more control over my money, know where it’s going, and I am not living off my credit cards. Hiring Tammy was one of the best investments I have made in my life. Hire Tammy TODAY. It will be one of the best decisions you will ever make about your money. Meeko G. -Altamonte Springs FL
Day-to-day psychology of money
Money is an emotional thing, and to reach big goals, there is patience involved. Many people want to see quick gains and big movements with their money to feel like they are making progress. And those gains can be faster with some educated risk-taking. But managing money with more risk leaves you open to, well, more risk.
Financial progress, more often, is not flashy. The road to high net worth is quiet and built over time. We think when we see someone driving new cars, buying big houses, and spending big on parties and trips that they must be rich. But big spending is often a show. Wealth is built at any income, though. It’s the result of many small decisions balancing what you truly want now and in the future.
That doesn’t mean that you can’t enjoy your money! Doing fun things isn’t reckless, it’s living. But make sure that you are spending that money for you, not because others expect it from you.
Create a “Money Mindset” and establish your goals
With a goal and a mindset for managing your money, you can feel abundance without drowning in it.
Working with a money coach means you define your plan to weather life’s changes. By owning your money story, you gain confidence and become proactive with your decisions instead of managing the fallout of whatever comes your way. You have a neutral financial partner to discuss your fears, what is driving your actions, and when it makes sense to deviate or hold the course.
Change is a constant in life and in finance. Part of working with a coach is learning to manage through job loss, a new business, a falling economy, selling a house, sending a kid to college. All of it.
I found Tammy Lally, and her business, while listening to NPR podcast on my lunch break. I was at a turning point in my life; where I felt out of control with my finances, and without resources to make positive changes. After reaching out to Tammy, and having our initial conversation, I could feel her attention to my story; my experience. I worked with Tammy for the better part of a year- during this time we dove deep into my personal money story and uncovered so much about the WHYS of my Money Habits. She helped, and coached me through some really difficult, but helpful decisions about my money situation and together we planned next steps.
She overall helped me to see that my Money situation is a direct reflection of my mind, body, soul connection.
Working with Tammy did not turn me into an investment banker type overnight. What it DID do was help me understand my motives, my responsibility, and helped me build up a toolbox of skills I can rely on when circumstances change (which we know they will!).
If you are reading this, and are in the same boat I was – do not hesitate to contact Tammy. Her work is deeply personal, and is more like a complete overhaul of your mindset. She cares deeply about her clients and their well being; she helped me gain the confidence to launch a side business while working with her. To take back some of my control with my money and to learn to start to respect my journey, and my goals with my daily Money Habits. 10/10 would recommend her to anyone, and I have! Mary C.- South Carolina
If you think you could benefit from a money coach, you can contact me directly, or learn more about my community at Money Circle.